Want to be Spanked?

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In position, his questions force obedient answers from you. Punctuated by hard spanks, your admissions are deeply cathartic and hurt as much as his spanks. De Neef., et al. (2019). Bondage-discipline, dominance-submission and sadomasochism (BDSM) from an integrative biopsychosocial perspective: A systematic review.

I love to be spanked when it's a Good Girl sexy spanking. Those make me so hot, and there is nothing like the sex after one. My husband will give me the spanking on my bare bottom, over his knee so that he can penetrate me vaginally and/or rectally with his fingers during or after the spanking. And I was, by a few different guys who, to varying degrees, were down with giving me spankings. But I still felt kind of ashamed because they themselves didn’t enjoy it, but they spanked me anyway because they knew it made me happy. I love corporal punishment, discipline, spankings and role plays. I can be your mother figure, your Auntie, your neighbour, your boss, your teacher, your prison guard or anyone else in a position of authority over you. I can spank and discipline you for your wrongdoings in your past and re-enact childhood events in which you were bad and should have been punished at the time.I can role play any scenario you wish to explore, within reason of course. I consider it a privilege to be let in on your secret fantasies that possibly up until now, you have not been able to share with anyone.

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When I was 21, right after I graduated from college, I began dating Brandon, a brilliant, charismatic, confident 22-year-old. I loved how his dominant, even arrogant, personality manifested itself between the sheets. (Really, the only place I could put up with such a personality.) I didn’t have to ask for him to spank or dominate me because he did it naturally, and I didn’t feel like I was “choosing” to be submissive. But when we broke up after nine months, I knew I wanted the next guy I dated to be dominant in bed, like Brandon had been. I did a little Googling about submission and spanking fetishes and discovered it was a lot of other people’s fetishes, as well. Jennifer caught me, of course. I'd driven 300 miles to go to a small spanking party in Washington, DC. It was at someone's house, and it was two days of awesome. At one point, I was in a hot tub with a woman who acted in spanking films and the female host, a retired police lieutenant. But as exciting as that was, I wanted to experience spanking with someone I loved. I didn't want to have spanking on the side; I wanted it front and center. That brings us to the world of spankers and spankees. We like spanking much more than those who enjoy the occasional slap on the ass. We crave it more than those who enjoy a few ass-slaps during intercourse. Some of us might take it all the way to BDSM, but most of us don’t. We’re in-between. I never told any of my girlfriends about my fetish, although I often made clumsy attempts to engage in spanking play. If they let me, I landed a few gentle slaps to the bottom until I got a curled lip and, "That's just weird. You don't really want to hurt me, do you?" I’m still coming to terms with my feminist beliefs, and how they interact with my desire for submissive sex, especially my spanking fetish. At this point in my life, at 25, I finally feel comfortable choosing to be submissive in a relationship with a man in the bedroom, as long as he is choosing to behave in a dominant way and he respects me outside of the bedroom. My love of a good spanking is not a conflict for me anymore. In fact, I respect myself more than I ever did for knowing exactly what pleases me and not being afraid to ask for it.

That diversity of sexual experience I mentioned also applies to how we categorize and describe our behaviors. Something that one person defines as super-taboo is totally unremarkable to someone else. You may find that spanking falls solidly within your definition of kinky (if that's even a word or frame you use), but that that you're not comfortable calling what you do BDSM. You may find that you're comfortable with the BDSM label, but that spanking doesn't match your definition of it. You may find that spanking falls into a separate category altogether, or no category at all. All of those outcomes are completely fine. What sensations feel sexual, and how we feel about them, are personal and variable. You get to name your desires in whatever way feels right to you and makes you the most comfortable. Our sexual lives and sexualities are totally DIY in this way.I’m a straight guy but my whole life I have wanted to be spanked by older men. Does this make any sense? Because I’m confused. I don’t like or want penis, yet I want to be spanked as a punishment by men. I don’t understand myself sometimes. —Sincerely Pondering And Not Knowing In the meantime, I’m grateful she’s been so game. Later at the dinner party, our naughty server Melanie dropped a dessert spoon into my lap, and it was too symbolic to ignore. So yes, I spanked her. And my darling wife raised Melanie's crisp little skirt for me. I just returned from Blogher. This annual writing conference ,focusing on women's contribution to the web, took place in San Francisco. I had a blast. I adored the panels, networking and the free corporate swag, but the highlight of the trip was hanging out with the girls. Then listen to me (because your wife/girlfriend may be too shy or embarrassed to say it again). This is NOT something that just came up She has probably had this need since childhood. Please trust your lover, if she says she wants to be spanked – SHE DOES! BDSM is never abusive. Because of negotiated agreements and safewords, no matter how it looks, BDSM is always friendly, affectionate, and for many players, deeply nurturing.

Those feelings are understandable, particularly given some of the messages you may have received about this.

Fast forward a few years, and a few sexually un-fulfilling relationships, to Charles, the first guy who made me feel like there wasn’t anything wrong or un-feminist about wanting to be spanked. I’d known Charles for years, so he knew about my feminist activism and the writing I do about women’s issues. Once Charles learned about my dom/sub fetish, he knew—and respected—how conflicted I felt. Charles wanted to spank a woman as badly as I wanted to be spanked, and that was what mattered to him. Plus, he’d struggled with apathetic partners, as I had, and he owned a paddle! Alas, Charles also had a girlfriend. Our first Underground Spanking dinner party. Organized by a bubbly redhead known as Chef Steel, these parties feature three-course meals paired with wine, served on china and crystal by respectful staff who glide about ensuring the guests' needs are attended to. Subs enjoy only clearly specified sensations. Like everyone else, even the most submissive subs hate dog bites, sprained ankles, or street assaults. They crave only what they personally enjoy.